Joy of Uncertainty

“My soul does cry from the depths; my hearts does sing before the thrown.            Beneath this season of the Great unknown” ~me                         I can recall the simple way He showed me two months ago, on the eve that He would ask me to completely let go. I had drove out to the mountains to just be still with Him; to welcome the comfort that only He could give me...to seek the wisdom that I still had not known in the disarray of my circumstances....to come to grasp the peace that would replace what I was previously holding on to. And meet me He did, as always...Faithful beyond my capacity to comprehend. I jumped in my car after a long day of confused thoughts, heavy lies and tear stained cheeks; I was needing physical sustenance. I just stopped at the first place I found that I could eat and as I drove through to order and pick up my food I remember my plea clear as day...”Lord I do not understand any of this, but I know Your Love for me. Show me how to rest in Your plan here...How to find Your Loving arms and  bury my face and my heart into Your grasp. Show me whatever it is I need to see; reveal to me why You’ve drawn me to these mountains. For I am in a space of fear and doubt and I want to trust You...remind me how, Please Lord remind me how...” It was quick and it was intense as the words burned across my lips and out into the atmosphere, but none the less He was immediately there to capture the essence of my heart in this prayer! I remember glancing up briefly from my train of thought and noticing the motto of the place I was ordering from, printed on a placard before me “Get what you want, get what you need.” It caught my eye because at the moment I truly felt as if He was asking me to give sacrifice to that which I had wanted for many long years...but then the sweet whisper resounded in the deepest corner of my being “Sarah Not just what you want, but also what you need....this is My desire for you my precious one.” I let that soak for a moment and as I approached to window to receive my meal, I asked the young man standing there for some hot sauce, I quickly said “A lot please.”  I actually think I began to cry as I watched this young man continue to pile sauce into my bag, I mean so much that there was no human way possible for me to eat it or use it. And he was just so stinking happy to keep reaching down and placing handful after handful into my bag. But it’s what God was saying to me there that just wrecked my heart, “I’m going to give you so much more than you’ve even asked for Sarah. More than you ever imagined.” I remember smiling at the young man who was completely oblivious to the role he just played in Gods speaking to me...I knew he noticed the tears rolling down my face and I’m sure was confused by my extreme response of gratitude over hot sauce. I just smiled through the tears and said, “Thank you so much, you just helped make my night better.” I drove back to my room for the night and just kind of sat on the bed with all that hot sauce spread out as if I could roll in it...I know it seems silly but you see He has always talked to me through the common place things, the daily notions, the perfect people; used to reflect all His Love, Grace and Glory! So I sat and I rested in this sweet conception He had just set before me....my eyes grew heavy and all of me fell into that Love; my heart, my mind, my body and my soul....resting fully in a gift I could not completely wrap my awareness around! And I slept....with peace...held in His mighty arms...                                                                                                                                                         As the next several months unraveled I’d like to say I grew more secure, strong and carefree in this wisdom...but instead I would face the Greatest unknowns I’d ever come to wrestle with. Just question after question as I watched His powerful Hand reveal truth in the very darkness I had been wondering. And often I didn’t even know what to do with it...I would just stand mind running, heart quivering, head shaking and soul seeking. I cannot think back on a time when I ever wept as long or as hard as I had in this season. I also don’t recall ever being met so Gracefully again and again and again by Father as I wrestled with it all. The cost felt too much for me yet it was exactly what I needed spent in order to know Him more deeply, more assuredly, more completely in these moments; this was a truth He wanted to last forevermore within my very nature. But it was going to be a hard process to sink it in. So many moments of perfect clarity swept away by insane emotion...all of it remains a simple lack of trust, a lack He knew was hiding there in the very tender space of my heart and so He would offer me trust in a way I wasn’t necessarily welcome to receiving it...in the Uncertainty! I don’t know how many times over the last few weeks I have heard myself say to others; I just have no idea what God is going to do here. I cannot see at all which direction He will take this. nothing aligned well enough in my own cognition to give a clear route....it was as if puzzle pieces had just rained down and I was finding them everywhere; I knew they all went together but had no idea of what the picture would look like or how the pieces even fit. And yet everyday He was kind enough to show me another piece and to give me my task, the one focus He wanted me to have. How He wanted me to pray, what He wanted me to build and of course who and how He wanted me to love. I guess I just didn’t realize how hard it would be for me to follow through on those things. My heart fluttered beneath the weight every several days and I would crumble once more into His arms and He would say something only He knew to stay to strengthen and encourage my heart once more. It was the place I’d been so many times before and it is a beautiful place of daily learning to exchange all my burdens with all His Grace. But it remains an uncertain place...a place where if I allow my mind to wonder I end up terrified and in pain. It’s the hallway...He’s closing a door behind me but has yet to open another and He wants to gift me here, I feel it....but I just haven’t learned how to praise Him in the hallway...where I must wait once more! I know He wants to offer me a sweet kiss in the moment; one that showers Joy upon every fiber of my being, I simply haven’t learned to receive it yet....How to stand in such vast uncertainty, tainted with extremely painful moments and just praise Him, and wait for the absolute best ending to all of this....the one that goes beyond that which I can imagine at the very fullest level of my creativity! Today may be the very first day that I can see....the waiting will be worth it even if I do not understand a single piece of what the puzzle is going to become; I am certain it will be the most glorious image I have ever seen....because it is His!!! Rest In Him sweet souls...know that the unknown was meant to be enjoyed and not feared....meet Him there and let Him show you The Way...the One, True, Faithful, Perfect Way! Love you all....sincerely, waiting and learning to praise in the hallway!           

Listen to this...

This is one of my very favorite speakers Peter Rollins....just wanted to share a part of what moves me to help people heal and grow and learn.....why it has taken me so many years of the Grace God's given me to understand how to extend it to others....humbling really... enjoy!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/marshill/podcast

click on the Being Human Podcast, Peter Rollins Sun, 28th Oct 2012

week 26...Half a year gone by...Half to come!!!

Let me start by offering my deepest apologies!! I don't really have an excuse other than life has been throwing a lot in my general direction and my time management has left me not getting to all of my passions! I put the blog on the back burner while Nicole was out and just simply haven't set down long enough to pick it back up. I pray none of you have been hurt by my lack of attention to this project; I am human after all...lol! Thank you for your grace, understanding and forgiveness. I will be doing better....just needed to find that time for God first and as it usually does, everything else begins to fall into place once more!

MEDITATION/MESSAGE

Don't look back. Don't run ahead. "I am" right here! Fear is such an interesting beast. I believe that it is the one emotion that constantly attempts to eclipse Love. God loves us so much and fear simply screams run. Fear is funny really; it keeps us knowing we are alive yet can keep us from fully living simultaneously. So the situation begs the question, "what are you afraid of?" My biggest fear is vulnerability in love. I have never let myself get raw and completely vulnerable in an intimate relationship. This is a lot to swallow when you discover it about yourself; when you realize you have offered a controlled vulnerability to every intimate relationship you've ever held close to your heart. That you truly have never released all of yourself into another's hands because you were sure they would crush your heart. Fear rises out of many of our experiences, failures, and trials; sometimes we are even unaware that fear has attached itself until we are standing face to face with an opportunity to not fear. I am learning how to let Love win; and my hope is that each of us, when standing in front of that thing we fear, would seek Gods love. Right there, right then; in that very moment! Love truly is the only thing that can cast out fear; Love is greater than fear. What have you to fear when you know the Love of God? He says nothing can keep you from His Love; He says He has overcome the world and your fear is included in that world. He says do not be afraid....again and again and again! Fear not sweet children, God, Our God is Love and we have nothing to fear!

FULL PLANK POSE DESCRIPTION

                            *Come into plank pose, knees can be down or off of the floor. 

*Line your left hand up directly below your chin.

*Shift onto the outside edge of your left foot, and stack your right foot on top of the left. 

*Now swing your right hand onto your right hip, turn your torso to the right as you do, and support the weight of your body on the outer left foot and left hand.

*Make sure that the supporting hand isn’t directly below its shoulder; position the hand slightly in front of its shoulder, so the supporting arm is angled. 

*Straighten the arm by firming the triceps muscle, and press the base of the index finger firmly against the floor.

 *Strengthen the thighs, and press through the heels toward the floor. Align your entire body into one long diagonal line from the heels to the crown of the head.

*If you'd like you can stretch the top arm toward the ceiling, parallel to the line of the shoulders. 

*Keep the head in a neutral position, or turn it to gaze up at the top hand.

*You can stop here or go into the full variation as shown. 

*Simply bend the top knee and take the hand to the inside of the foot and slowly extend the leg towards the sky. Do Not Be Afraid, for I Am with you!

SONG SUGGESTIONS

Empty my Soul by Melissa and Jonathan Helser

Abba(extended version) by Jonothan David Hesler

Sweetest Name by Will Reagan and the United Pursuit Band

MEDITATION/MESSAGE

Colossians 2:2-3 “I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God's great mystery. All the richest treasures of wisdom and knowledge are embedded in that mystery and nowhere else. And we've been shown the mystery!”

There are times when we know just what to do, and life seems to rise up and support us. And then there are times when everything is a little unclear, and we might feel a bit lost. Thankfully, God’s word tells us that “all the richest treasures of wisdom and knowledge are embedded in the mystery of knowing God and nowhere else.” We can use our meditation and yoga practice as a time to tap into a deep connection with ourselves and Him…. remembering who we really are (His children) and what is most important to us. When we embrace the awareness of God into our whole life, we will experience the kind of presence that will make us stop in our tracks, engage our senses, and find joy in daily life. But for most of us, accomplishing that is easier said than done. Often it requires a conscious effort to examine the world, push in new directions, and find fresh ways to bring to mind the same sense of connection, foundation, and contentment we find in Him.

STANDING SIDE STRETCH POSE DESCRIPTION

This is a great posture that warms up and awakens the body. Try practicing this pose as you awaken yourself and intentionally focus the mind on your Lord! 

Standing tall in Mountain Pose 

Inhale arms up and overhead, turning palms to face together & interlace the fingers, 

~ sink the shoulder blades down the back, creating space between the ears and shoulders 

Exhale and side bend evenly toward the right, 

~ ensuring that the shoulders do not tip forward or backward, use the core strength to keep centered  

Repeat the side bend over to the left side 

Continue flowing from side to side slowly, to the rhythm of your breath.  

Release your hands down with an exhale, coming back to Mountain Pose

Benefits:

Creates space in the spine, feelings of peace

week 25 of 52 week challenge...almost half way!!!

MEDITATION/MESSAGE


" For everything~absolutely everything~above and below~visible and invisible~everything was started in HIm and finds its purpose in Him alone."


Have you ever pulled out a 2000+ piece puzzle and simply sighed at how overwhelming it is. So many random pieces and yet you find the ability to work through it because there is this picture on the box of exactly what it can become once all of the pieces find their way to where they belong. I think our lives mimic the puzzle, our picture is Christ. He is what is in and through us causing coercion of each and every detail of our live to return us back to where we belong. He takes all of the pieces, every detail and brings them together as they belong; making us whole. So all of those pieces that you swear have nothing to do with that puzzle; the ones that you just cannot see belonging to the same picture...those pieces are all part. Everything is part, everything is from Him and finds purpose in Him... Even though you may not be able to see it now, whatever it is, it is part of the big picture. It is all His and He is using every detail to reconcile you to wholeness. I am also guilty of trying to make pieces fit where they do not belong; I have to remind myself the picture is His. He knows when and where each piece fits and how to put them together for the best possible outcome. Puzzles are always confusing right up until the last few pieces find their way into place...so give yourself and others some grace and remember this is all His and He is doing the work. Timing and perspective matter, but you can rest knowing all of the pieces have been laid out on the table before Him and His mighty hand will weave them into a reflection and a masterpiece....believe! And sometimes we get a glimpse of how all the pieces are coming together and this is a wonderful moment, the picture becomes more clear and one more piece falls into its place....


WARRIOR THREE POSE DESCRIPTION


I like this pose for the message because it truly challenges us to find meaning and purpose in all things. To look forward with anticipation for the pieces to fall into place.

1. From Warrior I, bring the hands onto your hips.

2. Bring your weight forward into your front foot as you gently kick up your back leg.

3. At the same time, bring the torso forward until it is parallel to the floor.

4. Keep the neck relaxed, as if it's the natural extension of the spine.

5. Keep both hips pointing toward the floor as you bring the back leg in line with your body.

6. Flex the raised foot and keep the muscles of the raised leg actively engaged.

7. Bring the arms back along your sides.

8. Repeat on the other side.

Beginners: Do the pose at the wall. You can either face the wall and bring your arms outstretched in front of you with your hands on the wall or turn around and bring the lifted back foot onto the wall.

Advanced: Try another arm variation. Bring the arms outstretched in front of you or into reverse namaste position behind your back

SONG SUGGESTIONS

Farther Along by Josh Garrels

Soon by Hillsong United

Carried to The Table by Leeland

P.S. Nicole had to go back to the hospital and receive a second treatment to remove fluid from around her heart and lungs. Please keep her in your prayers and know her contribution will return as soon a this piece finds it way into the puzzle and her heart finds the healing it longs for....

week 24 of 52 week challenge...

MEDITATION/MESSAGE

The last few weeks my life has been quite a mess; it seems as though every area of my life was at odds. After spending some time with God and listening to His word; it’s apparent He allowed all of it to happen, and He had purpose behind it all. Sometimes when we are struggling we may assume it is the enemy attacking us, which it very well may be. However, God does come into our lives and sometimes makes a mess of things to get our attention and to get us on His plan! Without the mess I wouldn’t have stopped to listen to Him. When Jesus comes into our lives and makes a mess of things He is deconstructing us to construct something better. He is building a better temple inside of us, but sometimes He has to tear down the old one, in order to build a new and improved temple.  

EXTENDED TRIANGLE POSE DESCRIPTION

1. Starting in Mountain Pose, begin to pay attention to your breath. Let go of distractions. Breathe softly and fully. Take a moment to tune into your body and draw your awareness inward 
2. Step feet wide apart, about 3 to 4 feet, make sure heels are aligned with each other
3. Turn the toes of the right foot to face the front of the mat
4. Keep the left toes pointing towards the long edge of the mat 

• The two hip points are now facing the side of the mat

1. Inhale, taking the arms out in a “T” with palms pointing down, keeping the shoulders relaxed
2. Exhale as you begin to tilt the left hip away from the front leg, deepening the crease where the hip bone meets the pelvis
3. Continue to reach out through the top of the head, keeping the spine long, and the torso engaged
4. Lift through the knee cap of the front thigh, contracting the quadriceps to support the knee
5. Extending through the right hand, gently lower it towards the shin, a block on the inside of the foot, a block on the outside of the foot, or fingers/palm on the mat or big toe
6. The left arm will float up towards the sky, keeping the arms in a “T”

- Whichever hand position you choose for the bottom hand, make sure to keep the spine and torso long, without creating a bend in the waist

- Draw the low belly in to support the lower spine

1. Tuck the chin in slightly, lengthening the top of the neck, and turn your gaze up towards the sky or gazing towards the floor 
2. Breathe comfortably as you hold the position
3. To exit the pose, on an exhale look down towards the front foot, draw the low belly in, root down through the feet, and inhale as you rise up 
4. Turn and step back to the top of the mat and repeat on the opposite side

MEDITATION/MESSAGE

Butterflies represent the resurrection of Christ. As christians our walks balance upon this idea that God is always bringing resurrection again and again within each one of us. He brings our old nature up to the surface to examine, and then He delicately binds us up and transforms us behind the fibers of His hands and then opens His hands to set us free, new with beauty, to fly upon the breath of the Spirit. This pose embodies our openness to the resurrection process. Our willingness to be still and wait while He works to create in us a new and clean heart. To transform our bodies, minds and spirits into His lovely intended creations. It is always a process, one that seems painful as all of our old stuff must be burned away, liquified into nothingness that we may begin to form from dust all over again. But not just any dust, dust that has been infused by the Breath of God, the Spirit filled life that only His magnificence can bring. Man cannot free himself from the cocoon, only God can whisper strength into our yet unformed wings and inspire us to fight, you get free of the bindings and set flight into an unknown but miraculous world of freedom and of love...

BALANCING BUTTERFLY POSE DESCRIPTION

• Begin standing on your mat with both feet together. Bend your knees and squat down, placing your hands on the floor in front of your feet.
• Turn your knees out to the sides, keeping the balls and heels of your feet together. When you're ready, bring your hands to your knees.
• You can stay here, or bring your hands together in front of your heart in prayer position. Hold here, balancing for five deep breaths. To release, bring your knees together and stand up

Week 23 of 52 Week Challenge

MEDITATION/MESSAGE

Why does our reality forsake us? Why do stand in this world partly aware of our center with Christ and partly distracted or confused with what is in front of our eyes? Our true identity is so apparent when we see it in His presence, but as soon as we stand among the other broken souls we are tempted to start questioning our worth and our place among them. We can stand and see where God has moved, where He has been. But it does not keep us from stopping right where we are, in the middle of the process, to look around and see what is going on; as if looking around our broken world is somehow going to reveal Gods perfect works. He is so far beyond our comprehension, such a mystery  and a miracle giver. There is truly no way for our little minds to grasp all of what is actually happening and so very often we simply settle for whatever we can logically conjure up instead of watching and waiting for Truth to reveal itself. We can find ourselves buried beneath the rubble of our torn world; we need only return to the Master and rest and wait to be used as He intends for the great revelations of our stories in His book. Plow pose is a figurative way to change our perspectives and reveal the Way out of the rubble.....

PLOW POSE DESCRIPTION

 Lie on your back and bring your legs straight up in the air towards the ceiling. Bring your arms alongside your body with your palms down. Press into your hands and lift your legs over your head.

If your legs do not touch the ground behind you, bring your hands to your back for support. If your feet do hit the ground, then clasp your hands together, trying to roll your shoulder blades towards one another.

SONG SUGGESTIONS

He Loved Me To The End by Jenny Powell

Perfect by John Loux

Never Let Me Down by Jill Phillips

MEDITATION/MESSAGE

The word “pain” or some form of it appears many times in Scripture. While not specifically stated in the Bible, medically we know that pain is a gift. Without it we would not know when we needed medical attention. Children would never learn that touching a hot stove is a bad idea, nor would we be aware to a dangerous medical condition without the pain associated with it. Pain also provides one an opportunity to experience the grace of God. Consider what Paul said: 

“and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9.

We don’t know what exactly Paul was struggling with, but it seemed to have been painful for Paul. He recognized that God’s grace was being given to him so he could endure. God will give His children the grace to bear pain. Although pain is not pleasant, we should thank God for it because it alerts us that something is wrong in our body. Also, it causes us to reflect on the awful consequence of sin and be extremely thankful to God for making a way for us to be saved. When one is in pain, it is an excellent time to realize that Jesus endured excruciating emotional and physical pain on our behalf; that He suffered pain willingly to redeem us and glorify His Father.

BUTTERFLY POSE DESCRIPTION

• Keep the spine and the neck in an upright position
• Breathe natural and easy.
• Bend both the knees.
• Bring the soles of the feet together and place them as close to the pelvic bone as possible.
• Grasp firmly both feet with your hands.
• Do not allow the heels to be raised.
• Keep the torso in line with the waist.
• Place the elbows on the thighs.
• Inhale deep and press both the thighs downward with the elbows.
• Remove your hands from thighs and try to raise the knees without any support; exhale breath.
• Practice this in the beginning with rhythmic and natural breathing.
• Initially attempt this for 10-20 times.
• Closing your eyes remain focused on the hip joints and the waist zone.
  
  
  ALSO, NICOLE IS HOME AND HEALING!!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS....REST IN HIM SARAH G

Week 23 of 52 is on hold....

Hey guys, so sorry no post this week. Instead we have a prayer request. Sweet Nicole the second writer for our blog has been in the Hospital and suffering from serious pain and looking at possibly having to have fluid removed from around her heart. She is a trooper , but we would love for you to join us in prayer over her. We will take this week just to join as a community in prayer if that is alright with you, please feel free to practice any of our previous poses and simply surrender your mind to this family...each and every one of us that comes together to unite more fully with Christ. Thank you so much for your love and support. Rest In Him Sarah G

Nicole